Self-Concept
Oleh : Ns. Arif Rohman Mansyur S.Kep
Self-concept is the mental image one has of oneself
– Self - concept is the total picture a person has of
herself/himself. It is a combination of
the traits, values, thoughts, and feelings that we have for ourselves.
– Self concept is developed early in life and affects the way that
person functions in his/her environment
– Children develop self concepts through what they believe the
important people in their life feel about them.
Self-concept
cycle:
As I see
myself
Other’s
reactions to me My
actions
As
others see me
“As I See
Myself” is formed largely by our own perception of what others think of
us. This influences our actions. Our actions in large part determine how others
actually do see us and directly influence their reactions to us in return. Their actions again, influence the way we see
ourselves. This is a continuous cycle in
our lives.
Toddler hood (13months. – 3 yrs)
– Recognize & label attributes that make them different
– Verbalize ‘mine’ & ‘me’ for possession
– Use pronouns—he, she, you
– Can string 2-3 words together
– Earliest description of themselves focuses on age & sex
Preschool (3 – 5 yrs)
– Define themselves in concrete observable terms ‘I have brown eyes’,
‘I have a book’
– Tend to show off their attributes
– Express simple emotions & attributes based on what they like
& don’t like ‘I like chocolate cake’, ‘’I am happy when my friends play my
new game’
– Cannot use positive & negative traits in a sentence
Early elementary (5 – 7 yrs)
– Understanding of themselves changes to what they can do now vs. what
they couldn’t do before ‘I used to be scared… but not now’
– Compare what they have & what others have re. fairness ‘he has
more than me’
– Cannot express have 2 emotions together
Middle elementary (7 – 8 yrs)
– Are more aware of inner thoughts (private behavior)
– Label interpersonal characteristics ‘smart’, ‘nice’, ‘mean’
– Compare what they can do to what peers can do ‘I am a better
basketball player than Frank’
Later elementary (8 – 11 yrs)
– Ideas about self become less concrete, continue to compare but in an
abstract way ‘I am more popular’
– Interpersonal relationships with others have a great influence on
self-esteem
– As they grow older ideas become categorized into positive &
negative judgments ‘I am good at this but not at that’
Self-Esteem
The Importance of Self-Esteem
Is the
way we feel about ourselves- how much we
value our own inner qualities. What we believe to be true about how worthy,
lovable, valuable and capable we are
No one is born with self-esteem. It
is very dependent on factors within our environment-- by the significant people in our lives
The messages a
child receives from age one to five will greatly determine his level of
self-esteem for the rest of his life
One’s unconscious accepts all words
and emotions as facts
Self-esteem is being continuously
constructed and reconstructed by what is encountered by others verbal and
non-verbal messages
Self-esteem is
one of our most basic psychological needs. It impacts every major aspect of our
lives. It has profound effects on our thinking processes, emotions, desires,
values, choices, and goals
Self-esteem is
strongly related to happiness, the ability to derive joy & happiness from
life
Deficits in
self-esteem contribute to virtually all-psychological & anti-social
problems
Quote: “Surround yourself with only
people who are going to lift you higher.”
3
Components of Self-Esteem
Internal Locus Of Control:
The degree to which a child believe
that they can influence outcomes & events in their world
The more internal a child’s LOC, the
more they feel like they have some control over what happens to them
Worth:
How much a child feels wanted and a
part of the group, and how much they like and accept themselves as they are
The more a child feels accepted and
acceptable, the more they are able to express themselves & act
authentically
Competence:
This factor
relates to a child’s self-efficacy or how “good at things” they thinks they are
A child’s
unconscious is getting continuous data related to their level of
competence. If they interpret their experience as progress and/or success
they become more confident and more inclined to take risks & take on new
challenges in the future
Characteristics
of someone who has high self-esteem:
– Confident, assertive, generally optimistic
– solves (rather than avoids or denies) problems
– sees mistakes as learning experiences
– ability to trust people
– takes reasonable risks, lives life independently
– understands and is able to express feelings and emotions in positive
ways
– enjoys meeting new people, making new friends
– cooperative (easy to get along with)
– accepts and give compliments
others react
positively to children who demonstrate high self-esteem which validates
positive feelings
Characteristics of someone who has
low self-esteem:
– feelings of being unloved
– overly dependent, inability to make decisions
– extreme jealousy
– excessive worry
– fear of trying new activities (risk-taking)
– perfectionism
– inability to describe or even understand feelings
– frustration
– excessive anger
– need to over achieve
– poor school performance
– highly critical of self and others
– continuously in poor health
– poor posture, slumping
– inability to look people in the eye
– drug, alcohol abuse, sexual promiscuity
– eating disorders
– self-mutilation
– negative self-judgment
"I can't do anything well”, "I know
I can't do it", "I know that
I will fail",
"I don't like me. I wish I were someone else."
Others will
react negatively to their actions, validating their negative feelings
Adults provide 2 key ingredients to help children
develop a positive self-esteem
Giving children a
sense of:
Guidance: discipline &
instructional approaches adults’ use
Nurturance: types of
relationships adults establish with children
***Children need a balance of both***
** Children will rise to the standards we set for them **
Guidance-
– being consistent
– providing reasonable rules/limitations
– encouraging children to participate in the development of rules
(empowerment)
– encouraging feelings of competence, worth & control
– providing realistic expectations
– encouraging initiatives
– ** providing reasons for request**
Nurturance-
– demonstrate warmth, acceptance, genuineness, empathy & respect
– show affection, interest & sensitivity towards child’s physical
& emotional needs
** This will help develop a child’s self-esteem**
The Verbal Environment
The way adults speak to children reveals their attitude towards them
& the tone of the relationship
Pg 103 – 107 VERY IMPORTANT
Negative verbal environment—adult make child feel unworthy, unlovable, insignificant or
incompetent
They:
– show little or no interest, ignores children’s interests
– pay insincere attention
– speak rudely
– use sarcasm
– use judgmental vocabulary to describe children
– discourages from expressing needs
– use controlling words
– ask rhetorical questions
Positive verbal environment- adult’s spoken language is purposefully aimed at satisfying
children’s needs & making them feel valued
They:
– actively engage with children
– use language to demonstrate interest
– actively listen
– speak courteously
– discuss children professionally
– speak with them informally during the day
– use children’s ideas & interests as a spring board to
conversation
– use names in positive circumstances
– use words to guide their behavior
Behavior Reflections:
Non-judgmental statements made to children regarding some aspect of
their behavior
Statements are not about opinions or evaluations—they are statements
of exactly what the adult sees
Praise
Effective praise
influences a child’s self-esteem. The hope is that external praise will become
internalized!!!!!!!!
3
Components of Praise
1.
Selective praise- reserve praise for
situations where it is genuinely deserved
2.
Specific praise- provide a specific
reason as to WHAT/WHY they are getting a praise
3.
Positive praise- there is no negative
comparisons. Use words that reflect that you are pleased
Strategies to build a high self-esteem
- Use positive verbal environments
- Tell children what to do instead
of what not to do. This prepares them for what to do.
Instead of: "Don't throw the ball."
Say: "Roll the ball on
the floor."
Instead of: "Don't squeeze the kitten."
Say: "Hold the
kitten gently."
- Use behavioral statements
- Praise
- Provide activities where they are
likely to succeed at
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